Recognizing change when we see it

Have you ever been at one of those moments when you know what you've been doing will no longer work -- that you are killing yourself by eating too much cholesterol, or that you are ruining your marriage by continuing to have the same debilitating fight -- but you are unable to map the way forward?

Or even if you know what you need to do, and have spoken of it, and resolved to do it many times, you find yourself standing at the edge of the cliff, fearful of stepping off because you are as vulnerable and wobbly as a child just learning to walk?

Or where you have begun your change, taken those few small steps, falling down every other one, but no one around you seems to notice? In fact they seem to be doing all they can to keep you from enacting the changes they say they want and not seeing success when it is right before their eyes?

Whether you are adopting healthier ways of eating, or you are learning to communicate with your staff in a new way, or trying to change your organization's culture, you move through four stages. You can learn more about this and other models of change here.
Stage 1:

In the first stage you are blissfully unaware. You may be in denial that any change is needed at all. You certainly don't have any idea how difficult and painful the required shift will be. You don't see the problem. Nor are you aware of the impact of your old ways. You are unconsciously incompetent.


Stage 2: Once you become of aware of the need to change, perhaps through a crisis, or because you want to learn a new skill, you become accutely aware of your incompetence. You are learning a new dance step. You are trying out a new language, and you realize how far you are from mastery. I think of the time when I was learning French, and I proudly attempted to order an ice cream cone in Montreal only to discover with dismay that the person behind the counter didn't understand me. At this stage you have the realization that you never even knew what it took to be good at this. You are in trial and error mode, taking one step forward and two back. We've all experienced this when trying to make something new happen. You need to spend a great deal of focus and effort on each step you take. At this second stage of change, you are consciously incompetent.



Stage 3: Once you have been trying and fumbling along for awhile, you get closer to a point of mastery -or at least mastery at the first basic level. I remember this happening when I was learning swing dancing. Suddenly one day I was able to let go enough to have fun at it, even though I had to pay attention to each step and keep looking at my feet. To the untrained eye it looked like I was beginning to know what I was doing. Only I knew how hard it still was to make sure all my steps were correct and that I was counting time under my breath. At this third stage of change you are consciously competent: you are practicing the new skill or behavior, but you still need to pay attention to it. You have not yet become fluent.



Stage 4: There is a final stage, when suddenly the new behavior becomes second nature. You are able to speak the new language without translating every word as you go. You are able to drive the stick shift car naturally, and able to carry on a conversation at the same time. It is hard to remember those first awkward steps when each new dance step -- slowed down as it was to lhelp you learn -- seemed so awkward and impossible. You have reached the stage of unconscious competence -- you no longer have to pay attention and you'ver created a new habit.


I have gone through these phases, multiple times and seen clients go through them too. The real work comes in that phase of conscious incompetence, when you cringe at how far you are from being where you want to go, and when others might not recognize your efforts.

I actually think that this framework is illuminating even on a political-social level. Take Obama's attempts to bring post-partisanship to Washington, for example. Altering habits of thinking and communicating that are heavily ensconced in the power arrangements and assumptions of years of bickering will not happen over night. Yet the discussion about whether or not Obama's approach is authentically bi or post partisan, is expecting just that.

We can all recognize these phases of change as individuals. We stay on course because we know that eventually we will get to fluency or fit into the smaller size pair of jeans.

It is all the more important to recognize these phases of change when looking at an enormous and complex shift such as the one Obama is attempting. Without going through that stage of fumbling, when it is barely possible to believe a different outcome is possible, we will remain stuck.

As individuals, as leaders in organizations, and as a culture, we need to be more cognizant of what change processes really look like, and to assess where we are in the process. It would help each of us bring the changes that we want to see.

Consider these questions:

If you are in a change process in some aspect of your life, whether personal or professional, what stage do you think you are at?

If you are considering making a change, what can you do to keep yourself moving forward, awkward as it is?

How can you withstand moments of discouragement?

How can you give yourself credit for making a change, and let yourself be where you are in the process, rather than at the end?