Recognizing change when we see it

Have you ever been at one of those moments when you know what you've been doing will no longer work -- that you are killing yourself by eating too much cholesterol, or that you are ruining your marriage by continuing to have the same debilitating fight -- but you are unable to map the way forward?

Or even if you know what you need to do, and have spoken of it, and resolved to do it many times, you find yourself standing at the edge of the cliff, fearful of stepping off because you are as vulnerable and wobbly as a child just learning to walk?

Or where you have begun your change, taken those few small steps, falling down every other one, but no one around you seems to notice? In fact they seem to be doing all they can to keep you from enacting the changes they say they want and not seeing success when it is right before their eyes?

Whether you are adopting healthier ways of eating, or you are learning to communicate with your staff in a new way, or trying to change your organization's culture, you move through four stages. You can learn more about this and other models of change here.
Stage 1:

In the first stage you are blissfully unaware. You may be in denial that any change is needed at all. You certainly don't have any idea how difficult and painful the required shift will be. You don't see the problem. Nor are you aware of the impact of your old ways. You are unconsciously incompetent.


Stage 2: Once you become of aware of the need to change, perhaps through a crisis, or because you want to learn a new skill, you become accutely aware of your incompetence. You are learning a new dance step. You are trying out a new language, and you realize how far you are from mastery. I think of the time when I was learning French, and I proudly attempted to order an ice cream cone in Montreal only to discover with dismay that the person behind the counter didn't understand me. At this stage you have the realization that you never even knew what it took to be good at this. You are in trial and error mode, taking one step forward and two back. We've all experienced this when trying to make something new happen. You need to spend a great deal of focus and effort on each step you take. At this second stage of change, you are consciously incompetent.



Stage 3: Once you have been trying and fumbling along for awhile, you get closer to a point of mastery -or at least mastery at the first basic level. I remember this happening when I was learning swing dancing. Suddenly one day I was able to let go enough to have fun at it, even though I had to pay attention to each step and keep looking at my feet. To the untrained eye it looked like I was beginning to know what I was doing. Only I knew how hard it still was to make sure all my steps were correct and that I was counting time under my breath. At this third stage of change you are consciously competent: you are practicing the new skill or behavior, but you still need to pay attention to it. You have not yet become fluent.



Stage 4: There is a final stage, when suddenly the new behavior becomes second nature. You are able to speak the new language without translating every word as you go. You are able to drive the stick shift car naturally, and able to carry on a conversation at the same time. It is hard to remember those first awkward steps when each new dance step -- slowed down as it was to lhelp you learn -- seemed so awkward and impossible. You have reached the stage of unconscious competence -- you no longer have to pay attention and you'ver created a new habit.


I have gone through these phases, multiple times and seen clients go through them too. The real work comes in that phase of conscious incompetence, when you cringe at how far you are from being where you want to go, and when others might not recognize your efforts.

I actually think that this framework is illuminating even on a political-social level. Take Obama's attempts to bring post-partisanship to Washington, for example. Altering habits of thinking and communicating that are heavily ensconced in the power arrangements and assumptions of years of bickering will not happen over night. Yet the discussion about whether or not Obama's approach is authentically bi or post partisan, is expecting just that.

We can all recognize these phases of change as individuals. We stay on course because we know that eventually we will get to fluency or fit into the smaller size pair of jeans.

It is all the more important to recognize these phases of change when looking at an enormous and complex shift such as the one Obama is attempting. Without going through that stage of fumbling, when it is barely possible to believe a different outcome is possible, we will remain stuck.

As individuals, as leaders in organizations, and as a culture, we need to be more cognizant of what change processes really look like, and to assess where we are in the process. It would help each of us bring the changes that we want to see.

Consider these questions:

If you are in a change process in some aspect of your life, whether personal or professional, what stage do you think you are at?

If you are considering making a change, what can you do to keep yourself moving forward, awkward as it is?

How can you withstand moments of discouragement?

How can you give yourself credit for making a change, and let yourself be where you are in the process, rather than at the end?

Learning from Obama's first days

I found Obama's admission that he made a mistake in the Daschle case refreshing - not so much because of the ethical consistency it showed, but because of his willingness to admit error. As a leader, Obama has time after time, throughout the campaign, and now as president, shown a confidence and a depth of self awareness that is all too rare in public life (and elsewhere).



Many have commented on Obama's ambitious agenda. Taking on any one of the huge challenges he faces would be daunting, (from climate change to fixing our education system) let alone the multiple intersecting challenges (how relations with China intersect with the financial crisis, for example).

He is leading us into the unknown and there are sure to be many mistakes and corrections along the way. If there are no mistakes, there is no experimentation. No failure, means no growth. Check out Mary O'Hara-Devereaux's book "Navigating the Badlands: Thriving in the Decade of Radical Transformation." I have thought of it many times in the last few months --you'll definitely see what I mean about leading into the unknown. (More in a later post).



We all need to learn how to admit responsibility quickly and make corrections; that way we can take more risks, and be more creative. It is what you do with the mistake that counts.



What is your approach to failure, both large and small? How do you handle mistakes? When have you failed well?

What will this month bring?

Yes, it is already February 1 -- we're solidly into 2009, a few weeks into the Obama administration, looking ahead towards spring. One thing I've been doing both for myself and clients recently is setting monthly goals on the first Monday of the month.

This seems obvious to many, and quite simple. Yet this simple act of intention can be empowering. It focuses the mind by clarifying what you want, and what is doable. It creates priorities.

Many coaches and organizational deelopment consultants use the term SMART goals -- a helpful acronym for powerful goals setting. SMART stands for:
Specific (not vague);
Measurable (you can tell whether or not you've done them--whether it is pounds lost or articles written);
Actionable (they are not just in your head);
Relevant (they move something forward that is meaningful and important to you) and
Time-bound (they have a specific time associated with them -- you will finish them by Feb. 15 for example).
Sometimes another "S" is added, for Stretch -- that is, they are goals that will push you a bit to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

I have to confess that one of mine this month is getting to the gym, or doing yoga at home, at least four times/week. I began last week and have broken through my months long malaise to get to the gym both weekend days the past two weeks plus two days during the week. The trick has been the simple act of going, allowing myself to start small (i.e. not being embarrassed to spend only 15 minutes on the bike, as long as I made it there to begin with) and building as I go along. I am reminded of an essay I wrote a few years ago about my perpetual struggle to get to the gym, called "In Search of the Perfect Health Club."

At the time I wrote this essay, (yes, I've been engaged in this exercise struggle for a long time) I was much more into perfectionism than I am now. During those years I spent my time thinking and speculating, rather than doing. Now, I go for "good enough"...

As you look ahead towards February, what do you want to accomplish? Who in your networks do you want to reconnect with? What do you want to accomplish on your various projects? How do you want to attend to your health, or the relationships with those you love? What kind of time will you allow yourself for reflection? Take a few moments to write down your goals...And then give yourself some slack.